I get a lot of email forwards from family members warning us about looming danger, about the satanic properties of Doc Martin shoes, about the latest socialist uprising within our conspiracy filled government, etc.  Whenever I get one of these, I just head over to Snopes.com to validate it.  Guess what? Most of the time, they are false.

But what about all the Mormon myths that Snopes doesn’t care about?  You know, Steve Martin being a member, various miracles, the youth being generals in the war in heaven… Who will tell me if those are true?

Well, just head over to the new site HolyFetch.com .  The site debunks or validates all these and more.  I was able to clear up a lot of mysteries, but mostly I was able to learn that half the people in Hollywood come from "families that were LDS, but no longer are".

It is an entertaining waste of an hour, so make sure to do it when you are on the clock.

With the current state of the economy, many people may be worried about us here at MollyGear.  Do not fear, however.  We will be A.O.K. for several reasons:

1.  Molly Mormons are loaded.  They are throwing money around left and right, and we are just here to pick it up when it falls.

2.  Scripture bags are considered "recession proof".  Like milk or bread or gasoline for the Suburban, people just need it.  They might go without a night at the movies, but a new bag?  How could someone go without that?

3.  Government Money.  Last Tuesday, MollyGear, LLC filed for government assistance to get through this tough time.  We have requested financial assistance in the form of $28,000,000,000 (that’s $28 Billion in case the zeros start running together.)  The domestic auto industry needed $25B, but they didn’t have to concern themselves with things like buttons, snaps, and other fastening devices.  That’s why we need more than them.  It is very serious, and the nations entire economy relies on the fate of MollyGear.

I am confident that Congress will do the right thing and award MollyGear the $25B it is seeking.  Please do what you can*  to make sure we get by.  Let Congress know that without MollyGear, the world would be an uglier place with more pleather, tapestry, and other terrible materials.  We must continue to fight!

(* We didn’t really ask for the money, so don’t write congress.  Unless your congressman is fake, in which case, go right ahead.  I am sure they will respond favorably.)

Dylan was 5.  As a pretty shy kid, he had never actually participated in the ward Primary Sacrament Meeting Program.  Last year he sat on the stand, but didn’t sing or read his part.  This year was going to be different.  He had prepared his line and was ready to go.  Dad stayed home from church that day with a flu-like stomach bug, but Mom and baby were there when he walked up to the microphone and said his part.  It was a proud moment.

Moments later, Mom noticed he didn’t "look right".  He was coughing, but something was off…. Right then she realized he wasn’t coughing, he was, well, gagging.  The stomach bug hadn’t stopped with Dad.

Handing the baby to the neighbors, she ran up to the front and pulled him off the stand as they rushed to the bathroom.  They hadn’t made it out of the Chapel when Dylan yelled out "I need a bowl!!!".

Pushing through the Relief Society women blocking the hall (as usual) she burst into the bathroom and found an open stall just in the nick of time.

He’s my son, and I am so proud of him for participating in the program.  I am so thankful for the small blessing of allowing him to make it out of the chapel before he started throwing up.  If it had happened on the stand,I don’t think he would have ever participated again!


 

As you can see, we really like making lists for blog posts around here.  Its kinda our thing.  So here are the top times/places you can read your scriptures (and your MollyGear Bag, of course).

on the bus
at school
at the airport
on a campout
on a hike
waiting in line for Journey tickets
in a traffic jam
hot air baloon ride
while touring a Crayon factory (like on Sesame street)
at a jazz concert
in your favorite local bar
during an aerobics class
at church (duh)
while hunting for ghosts
waiting for your Thanksgiving turkey to cook
at a wedding
at another wedding (if you live in Utah)
at a BYU football game
while at the salon
on a picnic
in an igloo
on a boat
in a cave
at home.

Any I missed?  Feel free to add to the list.